I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i barfeds in our rink
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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