My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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