I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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