Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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