On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I am one with the molecules
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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