I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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