Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
