You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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