before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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