I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
