Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
