Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Oh god it's open bar.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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