The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
