dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
