In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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