I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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