Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
