well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
