Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize