1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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