i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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