True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
