they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
