The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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