so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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