Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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