did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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