I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
