i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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