How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
