yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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