It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
