I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm too high and old for this...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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