If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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