how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
