from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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