the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Randomize
