There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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