I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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