No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
