where does the pee come out of this thing
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
