U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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