I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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