It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
