What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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