and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
