my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
