Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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