i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
we're making bets on your personal life
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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