best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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