like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
