I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
